The Good-bye Letter, Part 6

Jillian Brasch | January 6th, 2012

imagesIn the letter below, Paloma tells her daughter the three things that I believe are essential in a good-bye letter from a dying parent to a child. They want to know that they were loved, that you were proud of them, and they want to know something about your relationship, from your perspective. Paloma was religious and her letter reflects that. Your letter might not look anything like this, but it gives you an idea of where to start.

Dear Becky,

I am so honored that God chose me to be your mother. In our short time together, you taught me so much about love. There were so many things I wanted to teach you, and so many places I wanted to show you, but there wasn’t enough time.

I could never have thought to ask God for a child so sweet and kind to all living beings as you are. Even when you were very young, you were instinctively gentle with animals. You are a child of peace. When I was so sick, you brought ginger ale to calm my stomach, or you rubbed my feet to help me relax. You mothered me when my biggest wish in the world was to be able to mother you.

I wanted to be there for every moment of your life. I wanted to be there to comfort you when times were hard and celebrate each of your accomplishments. I am so proud of you. You had to develop strength in your heart and find your own path so much earlier than most. I don’t understand why God separated us so early but He had a plan for each of us. What I most want you to remember all of your life is that God loves you. When you make mistakes, and part of being human is making mistakes, you simply have to ask His forgiveness. You are showered with His love every minute of your life.

I pray that you will have a long, happy life. Always, always, always know that you are loved. The love I feel for you transcends the thin veil between heaven and earth.



This letter was condensed from The Last Gifts. In the book, Paloma’s letter is about twice this long. She gives Becky some more advice, and writes quite beautifully about her wishes for Becky’s life. However, if she had chosen to stop where I stopped in this blog, she covers the three elements that I listed earlier.

I hope I’ve provided you with enough information over these six blogs so you’ll feel comfortable writing your letter.

Good-bye letters don’t have to be limited to parent and child. In the next blog, I’ll write about good-bye letters to others.

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